Foster Parenting

Ernie and I have long felt called to be foster parents. Just recently we felt that God was telling us that the time is now to become foster parents. So, here we are.

First, a little background. Well before we even talked about having kids, I asked Ernie if he'd ever thought about adopting a child. He said he was open to the idea, but that he'd always pictured himself as a foster parent. I had felt the same way.

I had always pictured myself having biological kids first, then becoming a foster parent. Turns out that was God's plan too, and we were blessed with two beautiful girls. But the goal to become foster parents never waned. We were just waiting for the right timing. We were *this close* to becoming foster parents to a student in Ernie's class in Oak Harbor. However, a more suitable family was found (one that lived in Oak Harbor, a definite plus) and so the idea went to the back burner again. We were still preparing though. I kept all of our gender-neutral baby clothes, along with some toys and baby gear. The infant car seat is in our garage, along with the crib. We are prepared to welcome a baby into our home.

Except that's where the twist came in. God led us to fostering older kids. I always expected that the foster kids would always be younger than our kids. But then Ernie found an ad on Craigslist for someone who wanted to help kids in need. He looked at it, called the number, and found out that it's agency that places high needs foster kids in homes. To say this is all God's leading is an understatement - because why else would Ernie stumble upon the ad, and then actually pick up the phone and call them? He HATES talking on the phone. But he did it without really thinking about it. When he asked me about it my initial reaction was "NO WAY" but then I decided to have an open mind. I heard what the social worker had to say when she came to our house to meet with us and tell us about their agency. And I could feel my heart softening. This agency places kids between the ages of 8-18, who have higher needs than typical foster kids.

So, we decided to work with this agency, Community Youth Services, to become licensed foster parents. We are in the process of getting licensed - a process that seems fast and slow at the same time. There are many ducks to be lined up, but we are close to the end.

We started with filling out a twelve-page questionnaire about our lives. Each of us. We also signed paperwork promising not to abuse the kids placed in our care. (Seriously, it saddens me that some of the things on that form even have to be said. Some things we promised not to do are things I have never thought to do to another human being, let alone a child.) Then we spent two full weekends in training. We were very blessed by our parents who all chipped in to watch our kids so that we could take the training together and speed up the process for foster parent licensing. All this between Thanksgiving and Christmas!

In January we took care of all the other details - fingerprinting, TB tests, home inspections, getting a land line, copies of immunization records for the kids and the cat, etc. We took CPR/First Aid training the first weekend in February. Oh, and we've been transforming our office/guest room into a bedroom. It's been fun to shop for bedding and accessories, not so fun finding new places for all of the stuff that had taken up residence in that room. But those who know me well know how much I like an organizational challenge!

After we are officially licensed, we will wait for a placement. CYS will only place girls with us, since we have two girls. One of the great things about this agency is that we have some say in who is placed in our home. The case manager will select a girl that she thinks will be a good fit for our family. Then we will have an opportunity to review her file. If we agree that she could be a good fit, we will have her stay with us for a weekend as a test. If all goes well for everyone, then she will be placed in our home. She will live with us for about 12 months while we work with her to regain a normal childhood. The goal is that she will be ready for a permanent placement after a year with us. Permanent placement could be back with her parents or another relative, or adoption, or long-term guardianship.

Honestly, we are excited and terrified at the idea of becoming foster parents. We have many questions and worries, but we rest in the knowledge that God will be watching over all of us - Ernie and me, Sophia and Kaitlyn, and our future foster daughter.